we went for a walk

 

we went for a walk and it was very sunny and warm even though in the morning i woke up missing my thicker blanket. and we visited a few galleries and drank coffee and the two locals said they felt like tourists with me and my camera playing our usual games.

in the evening i bought a handful of jellybeans from one of those candy machines you have on the street, but since i bumped into so many people i knew and chatted along i forgot to eat them and they melted in my hand into a soggy mess of colors. is that absence or absolute presence?, i am not sure…

november’s

   

last years november was spent on tour in germany and in belgium. i got a good portion of european autumn that way. the year before that i lived somewhere else, read my first book by murakami and injured my neck. and the year before that i still had bangs.

last night i premiered wearing pants again. my legs felt so protected. my feet are still naked in their flipflops though. but november is here and the temperature has dropped. wish you all a nice and cozy month.

hip hip hurra

   

grattis på födelsedagen finaste lilla h! tänk att du redan har blivit så stor...jag önskar dig en jättefin födelsedag och jag hoppas att paketet jag skickade har kommit fram? jag tycker det är himla synd att jag inte kan vara med på ditt kalas, eller ta en sväng med dig till den magiska världen. många kramar från moster sara.

my sisters daughter is having a birthday today. and i just realized i have never been present on her birthday. what a shame! especially now, when the ice breaks so easily between us and she takes me for adventures in the magical world and other great things. and looking at the small ones growing bigger, you get the best indication that time really do pass. whether you like it or not…

pattern collision

   

elisabeth, here you go, mönsterkrockar för hela slanten! i realize there are loads of patterns all around me. not just the mental ones.

and anna, this has to count as mismatching, right?

wish you all a great weekend. i hope it will rain.

peas and quiet

 

making green peas soup with rosemary and white wine while listening to the muezzin and finding a lost favorite shirt with many holes and a dirty mirror and straining my eyes to focus with the polaroid and obviously i didn’t keep track cause there was no picture left for the beautiful girl in front of me who invited me for a taybeh and speaking about language and what you become when you speak another language but your mother tongue and waiting for the rain which is expected(and longed for) this weekend and not able to put down my book page up and down and watching this movie and reading about this i almost had to vomit and i am not quiet but it is somewhat still around me.

sara♥mamma

 

today is my mothers birthday and i so wish i was there to celebrate with her. serving her breakfast in bed and massaging her shoulders. baking a cake and pouring her some wine.

some people say we chose our parents, and if that is the case, i did the best choice ever. my mother is so warm, generous, intelligent, sensitive and funny. lucky me being your daughter…

grattis finaste mamma, om du läser det här så vet du att jag tänker på dig. och jag har skickat ett kort som förmodligen kommer i efterskott.

this is it

this period is a lot about me and the six people i see more often than anyone else. funny how your colleagues can be like your family in a way. we are literally rolling in each others sweat all day long. i know exactly how they smell and what their body feels like. if they are having a good or a bad day. what they eat for lunch. and yet, there is this whole ocean of life underneath that we know nothing about.

it is as if my life has shrunk into one tiny molecule and that becomes a whole world on it’s own.

more still life

 

a little bit of finland through the mailbox, outi, you are so sweet!

drinking some wine with friends and wondering when my cough will vanish?  

dreaming many dreams and baking muffins. how’s your weekend?

inspiration/henry darger

 

we are getting inspired by henry darger right now in the studio. his work has the strangest contrast between naive and dark. little cartoon like birds, young children tied to the trees, soldiers, dragons, blood, fire, flowers and girls with penises. so twisted and beautiful.

and a song for the weekend. i am still waiting to play you some cheerful music. soon. very soon.

i♥webcam

 

most of the time the sound quality is choppy and the picture looks more like mosaic then faces, but still, there they are and it seems almost close…

yesterday was a day of connection. both here and there. i like connections.

slum shine

37 degrees yesterday and i feel ready for autumn. it is mid october after all, if the weather gods would care to know. but perhaps this will stay the never ending struggle between my swedish genes in a foreign place. i dream the weirdest of dreams, waking up two hours before my alarm and i can’t fall asleep again. someone is cutting my hair, there’s an intricate net of vertical growing carrots, i wear an old yellow dress my mother once made me, but in the dream i am only half my size, i hold up a door and just when a girl is about to pass through i slam it shut. and the amateur psychologist in me starts drawing conclusions…

*this picture is from a great exhibition i saw in new york, if i could only remember the artists name?

the tallest man on earth, please sing me a lullaby

like a house made from spider webs and the clouds rolling in, i bet this mighty river's both my savior and my sin and i'll throw it in the current that i stand upon so still, love is all, from what i've heard, but my heart's learned to kill

p.s listen here, picture from here

p.p.s and he is swedish too!

p.p.p.s i do like happy music aswell. i will prove so one day.

sinai

   

sinai managed to separate me from my camera. except for a few pictures. and that despite the fact that there is so much beauty and aesthetical ugliness all around, which always inspires me to shoot away. the mountains, the beduines  (followed by the questions;where did they come from and where are they going?), the camels… time simply moves differently over there. slow, very slow. it doesn’t make sense to rush, so at one point you manage to let go of that habit,even if it is only temporarily, and you surrender to the laissez-faire attitude of the locals. laying down, watching the sea, pondering life, eating, swimming and sleeping.

and now i am back in the city, the rush, the noise, the humidity. waiting for the rain. wondering what the winter will bring.