on the road, again.

 

i am leaving to italy today. we will have two weeks of i guess very intense rehearsing and performing. and then i am going to sweden. for holiday! god bless holidays. or bless someone else for all i care. as long as they happen every now and then, the holidays.

i am leaving while being busy with the idea of leaving in general. there is a lot of things to think about connecting to leaving. what we need and don’t need. what we desire for and not. to where we belong. i can’t seem to fit all those aspects into my mind. they leek out through my ears and pour down my body. and the mind keeps working, even when we are on a holiday…

wish you all a sweet sunday. i will see you in italy.

buongiorno!

weekword:nothing

i have been twisting my mind, squeezing the last drips of juice out of my brain with this word. nothing. is no thing. a person? a void? a black hole? abyss? everything? in the semi late night hour this is what came into my thoughts. hanna treated me with the challenge, and through her you can find other interpretations. any further thoughts on nothing?

happy birthday

lilla finaste e, inte för att du läser bloggar än, men hur gick det till? du var ju alldeles nyss precis såhär liten. nu har du fyllt två och jag vet inte vilka ord du har lärt dig, om du tycker om sagor eller hur du ser ut när du är arg. och du är förmodligen inte särskilt medveten om att du har en moster långt bort som nästan pussade ihjäl dig när du var ett litet knytt. grattis på födelsedagen!

my sisters son turned two yesterday. and i feel absent.

i bought a dress

 

… cause i just couldn’t resist. maybe because it has a beautiful cut in the back? or the weird mix of 80’s flowers and a 60’s model? beats me.

we rehearsed in the park today. getting used to dancing on grass. tomorrow we will rehearse on the beach. to get used to dancing in water. well, actually we were looking for a very shallow pool, but couldn’t find one.

it sounds pretty good i guess, working on the beach. but right now we have quite a lot of unresolved issues which creates tension, so it isn’t exactly peaches and cream. but enough of that. now i will chill down with a cold shower followed by a beer. simple after work therapy. hope you guys had a nice day? where ever you are, what ever you do…

june a year ago

i had these two turtle doves for a visit. a year ago. oh time flies. so many things can happen in a year.

we are having stressful days in the studio, getting prepared for italy. and i am realizing over and over again what an extreme challenge it is to communicate. and to be understood. we need a vacation. the sooner the better. but until then it is just about doing a good/great job and keeping the whiskers up. what a great expression, whiskers up…

i have ANTS in my computer. from what? cookie crumbles? i guess this is what happens when you have your own space, you lay awake at night eating cookies in bed while surfing the net. you eat half a pack of crunchy bagels for dinner and 15 nectarines for dessert. you never go to sleep, but wander the streets without worrying about disturbing your host when you sneak back in. and you wake up tired, tired, tired for work the following day. i am still extremely excited about this little space of ‘mine’.

here a little lullaby. 

and for those interested in participating in the following weekword, hanna-happenings will announce the word one of these days!

i love you

today during rehearsal. i was resting for a while, trying to release my neck which got stuck in a headstand in the morning, watching the others working on a certain part. our studio is situated on the 2nd floor, we had the windows open for once (every day we spend a few minutes debating whether to turn on the air-condition or to keep the windows open and pray for the breeze to cool us down.usually the group of convinced air-co users win) suddenly i see a balloon floating outside. slowly sailing in the wind, passing the northern wall and then continuing through our open window, taking a turn in the room before landing on the floor on the opposite side. i let out a big sigh and a ‘woooow’ and everyone stopped moving.a red, heart shaped i love you. i felt like in a movie. such a sweet little moment…

weekword: non/attachment

i often fantasize about shaving my head. all of it. chop chop. gone. i am so curious about the feeling and how it would look. but so far, i am obviously too attached to my hair, since it didn’t happen yet…

 

after 10 years (!) of living far from my parents, the umbilical cord is thicker than ever. i don’t even try to practice non attachment when it comes to family and friends. even though, indirectly i do all the time, by choosing to move around. what a paradox.

the neck keeps the head attached to our body. how lucky, because if it didn’t, i am afraid mine would float away, high in the sky, up in the clouds and never come back down again.

visit these people for more associations on the theme: et lille oejeblik, hannashappenings, textilspanieln, vejacecilia. and if you want to join, just drop a line and i will add you to the list. anyone feels inspired to choose the following weekword?

7.34

i have about a week left before leaving this place for a while. looking forward to some fresh air…and a good rest. even though i have the feeling i might not rest that much.

the past few days, i finally got a corner for myself in the city. after all these months of jumping from one bed to the other. it is a little bit weird in a nice way. i have nothing there, except a bed and a few small things. i like this emptiness for now. it is as if i can see clearer like this. the only thing i miss is a green plant. that will be taken care of today.

last night i spoke to one of my closest friends from back then.we have a hard time to combine our busy schedules to make phone appointments. but yesterday, i found the perfect time, the perfect phone booth, and she answered. so good to talk to someone that knows you extremely well. such a bliss to have people who feel similar like yourself at times. when you think no one else does… she reminded me of this text i once read when i was a teenager. some wise words for in the morning!

guess it started

hey, it is summer already! what happened? there’s something so obvious about the summers in the north. you know for sure it started when everything turns green and lush. and here i somewhat seem to miss the beginning, until one day i find myself almost melting away in the sun. that’s pretty much what happens, the heat keeps increasing. and then comes the jellyfish, the lychees (i am eating dozens of them, so sweet and tasty) and the cockroaches. did you know that cockroaches can fly by the way?

busy weeks, roller-coaster mind, growing muscles (they come and they go). that’s all for now.

weekword: non/attachment

better late than never..here it comes. the word of the week. well, it is almost two words, so it might count as cheating! anyhow. elisabeth inspired me to participate, and i hope you will let me know if i missed out on anything important?!

anyone who feels like participating please leave a comment here so that i can link to your associations to non/attachment on friday. and on friday i will pass it on to someone else to chose the following weekword. did i get it all right?

this is not a fashion blog

but this one is for you helena *and whoever else is of interest!*, since i promised to show you my favorite dresses (and skirts)…

a gift from my mother. 2nd hand.

my mothers old butterfly dress

the red one with white dots, only to wear with french fries in your nose. 2nd hand from rotterdam.

 

the amish looking skirt. that squeezes my waist.

the flowery cotton dress

the flowery hippie dress

the skirt i made years ago from my parents sheets. softest fabric on earth!

the synthetic forest dress from emmaus

the skirt i lost in the kibbutz laundry with a lovely psychedelic pattern

the yellow H&M one i got from sweet friends when i graduated and that turned into my costume for a dance performance

wow, i am surprised by the amount of dresses i seem to have collected throughout the years. but enough of that. it is just something to wear after all! ♥

god save the queen

you realize that you lost your swedish touch when you forgot which date is the national holiday and just after that the wedding of the crown princess. i happened to be reminded last night, when by chance i was watching swedish television online. i find it impressive how much importance we give to the monarchy. not to mention the amount of money.

looking at the preparations, i feel extremely happy not to be a royalty! but may they live happily ever after.

instead of celebrating with the royal family and the swedish folk, i spent the morning searching for bones who disappeared. he is in a trauma since last night when he got attacked by two vicious dogs who chewed him to little pieces. i almost cried when it happened. and thought to myself that it is not easy being a mother…

weekword:dream

it might sound like a cliché, taken from one of those speeches by a miss universe participant. a word that kind of got devaluated. but the most dreamlike dream in this place would be peace. to me, it associates to ´dream´ since peace seem to become less and less realistic. and more and more of a dream. right now.

so at night time, i dream more about war. and during the day, i daydream about peace.

thank you elisabeth for the weekword, there’s endless possibilities to it. i just chose a tiny little part.

p.s could you find my three little additions?

streetfindings

i often wonder about those single shoes on the street. what’s their story? unless you are extremely wasted or escaping something/someone in a hurry, why would you forget one shoe? is it some secret sign from the mysterious shoe sect? leaving a message behind? oh, that would be much more exciting than a drunken mishap. maybe one day i will start collecting all those singles shoes. pair them up with each other, a sneaker with a platform, a sandal with a rubber boot,and turn them into couples again.

the splashed bell pepper made me think of someone tearing out their heart and stepping on it. how very morbid.. well, at least it keeps being exciting walking on the streets this way. it is like a treasure hunt. if your mind stays open for it.

sweet&important dreams to all of you.

more of those colors

  

i am enjoying all those pretty women wearing pretty summer dresses.

i am enjoying to wear summer dresses myself.

i enjoyed to meet yaelian for the first time, with her sweet dog bambi! i have been reading her blogs (she has two! one cooking blog full of great recipes and one for her stories) for more than a year now. how amazing to realize that this person actually exists in reality.. yaelian,it was so nice to see you, hope to do it again sometime and enjoy your vacation!

i enjoyed receiving a bucket full of little, colorful gifts from ingetje. washi tapes, sponges, tea and candy. lief, ik hou van je!♥

enjoy your day! i hope i will enjoy mine..

se/nl/il

 

someone told me my life is a lot about fragmentation. that this is a consequence of my choices in life, to move from one place to the other for instance. it is like a picture on the computer, where you rather see all the different pixels and not the full picture.     

i am just busy discovering this from a new angle. i am not sure if it fits me anymore. i also don’t know how to make one picture of all the many pixels.

today this made me feel extremely tired. this thought, about the pixels…