this night a friend of mine passed away. she went with her husband and three little children on a trip, to the other side of our planet. saturday they discovered that she has cancer again, and today she is already gone. she has moved on.
trying to grasp and understand, the mind desperately seeking logic to all what happens in life. but there is nothing to understand, and there is no sense to be found.
last night, while knowing that her body was slowly giving up, we went dancing for her. it became our earthly goodbye. a few hours of dancing and hugging.
she has been saying that she is ready to leave. after her first cancer, with that close knowledge that it can all just end, at any time, she has lived her life so fully, every little moment, true to herself, and so present. she did a huge work, through meditation and vipassana. i have the feeling she managed to accept, and to leave with a smile.
it is as if she has finished her task, and she left us an important lesson. actually a very beautiful gift. and next to that there is the grief and the missing. i am thinking that a year hasn’t passed since my other friend left us. and i realize that this is part of growing older, it will only happen more and not less. death as a vital and inevitable part of life. so why then must it be so painful?