rainy days. while writing this, i have tiny drops of water falling on my back, since we have a leakage right above the bed.

this rainy weather fits me perfect, i can be the obsessive housewife as much as i please. i just peek outside to make pictures and then i return to my projects. one project going on here right now is making miso. from scratch. so we have about three kilos of rice above the wooden heater, and over it we spread a certain type of fungus from japan. the process can take a few months up to three years!

oh, and some obsessive baking has been done aswell, two kinds of cakes and a batch of bread. we just had 8 people over for lunch (therefore the obsessive baking), and after that, i think i deserve to treat myself with a glass of wine. i started to realize that i do not completely enjoy hosting big groups at the same time, it makes me feel a stranger in my own home….and by now i feel strange writing aswell. so hasta la vista.

i am having a gandhi moment with my friday coffee. so much wisdom in his words. i thought i would share with you a few.

♥we must become the change we want to see ♥an eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind♥earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed♥they cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them

  

  ‘flowers flowers flowers everywhere i go i see those flowers in my bed and in my head and in my hair flowers getting in my pants and in my underwear i see those flowers’

and this is the song!

oh, it’s thursday and weekend coming along. i can leave the city behind once again. yeah!

today i had the happiest day in the studio since a long time. that was so refreshing.  lately i often left feeling close to tears *yes i am a little drama queen at times* and today it was simply bliss and fun. the way it is supposed to be. especially since things could be so much worse in life, i better enjoy and be grateful for the good stuff.

then plenty cups of tea, cookies and words on a balcony. yes, all in all it has been a good day.

goodnight, sweet dreams!

 

sometimes thing’s turn out different then we planned. as we all know. this morning i got up at 4.30 to arrive on time for rehearsals in tel aviv. packed my bag like a zombie, took a quick shower like a zombie, made a cup of tea like a zombie and then we left the house, two zombies. trying to start the car. like zombies. trying to push the car. like zombies. and me, i even tried steering the wheel while he pushed. like a zombie, and on top of that, a zombie that does not know how to drive a car.

in the end, we returned home. like zombies. i accepted my faith…once again. perhaps that wasn’t so hard, at 5.15 in the morning. and instead, i have been working on mud plastering the walls of our future little shop for handmade crafts. and i did a few trials to rehearse in the living room. wasn’t too successful, needless to write.

for the rest, a weekend that i ate plenty of strawberries and saw many neighbors. and a bonus picture for any eco nerd out there, the very rich soil from our compost toilet!

19.2

 

 

my arms and feet are bare again. the toes, all white and lost without their socks. each time, each change of season is like for the first time. there’s something so special about the grey, springy light. how easily we forget. even though i have been missing the nordic winters, especially this year, i now feel happy with the warmth. yesterday i took a long walk in the forest, fell asleep on a little meadow, and woke up with a few new freckles on my nose.

i am baking and doing. eating candies and organizing the closet. i have favorite shirts that i simply can’t throw away.

and an urban week is about to start again, from tomorrow morning. i am trying to stay optimistic about it. yes i can do it, whiskers up!

blunt

3xselfportrait. it turned out pretty symbolic since i don’t feel very sharp these last few days. it is as if my mind is fogged and cloudy. i am trying to focus my thoughts, to fine tune again. but each note is out of key. the heat wave brought a lot of dust from the desert. maybe my brain is full of little, tiny grains of sand?

this morning i woke up early to continue the photo project while no one is awake. but before i knew it there was a permaculture tour behind the house and neighbors inviting for a pancake brunch in front of the house. i locked the door and closed the curtains. i rather protect them from seeing me with sourdough in my face, an eggplant on my head and all wrapped up in black tape….

and yes, T G I F! a few nice tunes for this friday: beth, the cure, ali farka. wish you all a great weekend.

home

 

after a week of being on the road, sleeping in one cave and at least five different beds i am so happy to come home. home to my tea collection. to bones. to no one to talk to. to the compost toilet and the noisy chickens. a little vacuum in time, just for myself. even the dishes are appealing to do. and i can be as much of a kitchen fascist as i please.

today i am feeling extra grateful for my freedom. after all, i can make my own choices. it’s easy to forget that sometimes.

 

1. these days i keep my sweets (especially the swedish import) in a ‘secret’ box in my bedroom. like a pirate guarding my treasures…

2. i have eight birthmarks on my thigh that all share the distance of either half or the full length of my pinkie finger from each other.

3. i dream of my last boss approximately once a week, and wake up wondering what exactly stayed unresolved…

4. almost no one is allowed to touch my feet, since i have this phobia thing going.

5. i suffer (!) from an irrational fear of the dark. these days i try to confront myself and challenge myself to get over it by different means, not sure they have had any positive result though yet.

6. i have a tongue piercing which is reminiscing the rebellious spirits (that were never that rebellious) from my early twenties. and yes, i was always a bit on the late side…

7. i have this unrealized fantasy of storing different kinds of smells in many jars, like a museum of smells. whenever you open to take a sniff, you will return to a certain memory, of a person, a place or a situation.

 

i would like to challenge, if you guys feel like it of course: torils♥, outi, evelina, ingetje and maarten!(m,if you read this. since you don’t have a blog, you can be creative with your list)

and here’s an older version of a similar challenge!

 

glimpses from my weekend. in such a short time span, just about two, three hours from tel aviv, there’s a completely different world. not to mention the difference from the north, which is green and lush by middle eastern standards.

the colors are different. the sounds. the smells. the time. on the way to the dead sea you pass plenty of bedouin villages were they live in shacks. young kids riding on donkeys. camels standing at the tip of a dune. and then…the smell. like hard boiled eggs. from the sulfur. i always get an instant craving for eggs at the dead sea.

even just 48 hours without a mobile phone and no watch can make wonders. i felt, the further i got from tel aviv, the more my mind cooled down. i became so calm. staring into the fire, following the dancing flames. laying in a hot spring, feeling your muscles untie, watching the stars. and falling asleep and waking up not knowing what time it is, the only hint you have is the moon and the sun.

i wish i can carry this calm feeling that i felt there throughout the week, in a totally opposite environment.

you can find me here tonight!

it’s the season. of my favorite flower. they brighten up my days in tel aviv. which is extremely warm and sunny these days. i have once more been the girl from the countryside lost in the big city. i arrive here, and even after four days i haven’t got used to the amount of noise all the time. in between work and different beds and couches, i am walking the city up and down, exploring each corner. and i started to look for my own little corner. praying to whoever that i will find it soon…

so, to contrast from these days of buzz, i will spend the weekend at a cave next to the dead sea. i wish you all a great weekend!

the story of today

the extreme amount of coffees didn’t help… (this is by the way a mini macinetta and a mini cup)

…i could need a dog’s sleep. with open eyes and all. talking about weird ways of sleeping. i wish you all a good nights rest. and a rise and shine morning after that.

disconnected

no internet in sight.just long enough to write this note.

i will be back…

for a long time now, i have been wanting to record a full night of sleeping. what am i up to while sleeping? do i move a lot? speak? which positions do i mainly sleep in?

lately, i often wake up sleeping on my back, with my hands interlaced as if praying on my chest. like a dead man in his coffin. i always find that hilarious. how do i get to that position while sleeping?  when i was younger i used to sleep squeezed up to the wall, with my nose touching the wall and the whole bed empty behind me. and sometimes i would change direction 180 degrees, with my head where my feet used to be. and i often sleep with my fists clenched. weird, no? in which position do you usually fall asleep? and how do you wake up? i wonder..

help the weirdo!

we got a funny task at work. and i could need some imaginative help. we were told to make pictures of a made up character in our home. someone (basically ‘acted’ by ourselves) doing sort of daily life stuff, in a weird way. or, a weird character, doing pretty conventional stuff. so, i did my session. and i will share with you below some of the outcome. now, i would love to hear what YOU see? if you see anything? who is she? does it inspire any imaginations? or if it just looks like ‘hey, this sara is a weird girl who get’s paid to do weird stuff’?

 

p.s i put sourdough starter in my face!

have a pleasant journey!