déjà vu

waking up with a sore throat and a aching head pounding to the ears and i think to myself wasn’t i sick just a few days ago? weak muscles and useless mind and i dream strange dreams and it is so hot and i boil liters of water and gurgle salt and then lemongingerhoneylemongingerhoney this never ending mantra and then the bank calls and tell me i am minus on my account and funny how they always reach you when they need you but how come they never pick up the phone when i call? and then i think the same thoughts as i often do and reach the same conclusions as many other times and i drink some more tea and pray that sake might do the job and i watch a documentary and feel hopeless and watch another one and fall asleep in the middle and wake up to write a complain letter and gurgle and drink some more and feel the pattern is the same and a tiny bit bigger than i am.